Here Are a Few Things That You Should Never Ask a Transgender Person and Why Mar26


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Here Are a Few Things That You Should Never Ask a Transgender Person and Why

While society is gradually becoming more accepting and tolerant of transgender people, there’s unfortunately still a lot of work to do. Sadly, transgender people often have to carry the burden of this labor themselves, in other words, whether or not they should have to be constantly explaining themselves, they often are.

If you want to be a better ally to transgender people and help to improve society overall, then take note of these common questions to never ask a transgender person.

“When did you know you were transgender?”

This is a well-meaning question, but it has one major flaw. Transgender people generally consider themselves to have been born as their true gender and consider their assigned gender to have been incorrect. Hence, it would be no different than asking a cisgender woman when she knew she was female. It’s not something she decided to be as a child, but rather something she’s always been.

“Have you had the surgery?”

It’s normal to be curious about the unfamiliar. However, this is a very invasive question and many transgender people find it quite rude. Whether or not to have transgender reassignment surgery is a deeply personal decision for trans people. While some will proceed with the operation and others will not, it’s not something that most transgender people want to discuss over dinner.

Asking a transgender person whether or not they’ve had transgender reassignment surgery is akin to asking a woman of a certain age whether or not she’s been through menopause. Even if you’re just genuinely curious and mean well, it’s hard for the person being questioned to not take offense. Remember, the way our words affect people isn’t always a reflection of how we meant for them to be received, but that doesn’t mean that the person isn’t hurt by what we said.

Understanding transgender issues is an invaluable part of understanding transgender people. If you’re transgender and interested in transgender reassignment surgery, visit The Trans Center in Plano, TX, and online at

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